reality check!

since the start of school, i've been doing my very best to somehow live out my self-expectations and goals this year..one at a time. i have given up luxury as well as self-centered pleasures. and anyone who is doing the same thing must have said this is a tough job because along the way you have to adapt to certain situations out of your control, adapt to people with your extremes, and be wiser, diligent, and determined enough to pursue whatever that has to be pursued! . . .sometimes i dragged..>> i tire. i get sick. i cry. i welcome frustrations. disappointments. heartaches. criticisms.. you know when you feel that need to isolate yourself from the world? or just fly? or be with somebody you want to be with and experience adventures the world has to offer in order to relax? .. i am craving for that right now. because right now, this school year, my only possible way of unwinding is a 2-3 hours blog-skype session on saturday night and sunday morning. awful =(  they say: 'when the going gets tough, the tough go shopping!' that's right; i did live by that rule at times but this time, i must say: "when the going gets tough,,count your blessings!" ..right? :) oh well..busynessss.

reality check:

1. i deleted my facebook account 

    * sometimes i wonder whether i made a good choice or not because on my free hours i tend to hack my mom's account and scan through it. and there i read updates on who, what and when,,which i haven't encountered and heard of yet face to face! it's like i have been ages BEHIND. and i'd realize how i terribly miss MY fb account. BUT! but every time i am so hook up and focus on my books,, every time i study with no distractions (while i hear my friends say: "last night i didn't got to study much. i facebooked for like 30 minutes and sleep"), every time i got high scores in quizzes... every single decision paid off :) and i end up congratulating myself. haha!

2. i am a level-4 student-nurse

    *and in 10 months time i hope to finish my schooling with no errors. this is the reason why i should give up everything nonsense and contemplate on something.. just for a span of 10 months, and which i supposed to last longer. it's a give-up-accept relationship. i have to accept learning. and this has to be essential.because even if i am in my senior years right now, i admit that i still lack the basic knowledge and skills. what i have right now is not enough yet. i still lack competence and confidence. i tell you every time i go on duty in different wards, i still experience anxiety and fear of the unknown. i still have those butterflies in my stomach. i still tremble and have hand tremors every time i handle first time cases and procedures. see? and consider that our curriculum is competency based..but how can the school expect us student nurses to be competent if in the first place they provided us more theories and less hospital experience. ? that's the point.

3. i have hospital duty on mtw; all major classes on thf; LEAP review on sat from 8-12nn and 1-5pm; and patient assessment on sunday afternoon =|

    *which means i only have my 'pamper me' break on sunday morning. my interventions: i need to increase my fluid intake in order to bear all the pressure and stress; religiously take my vitamins; hope to get that 8 hours of sleep; balance my studies and stuffs; rest on free days; eat well; say no to diet; and have a good time management..and pray..that in the midst of all these,, i won't freak out :]

4. i know i am capable of getting good grades :p

    *what to do: get rid of laziness!! get a book and read.

5. i am of legal age

    *which means i am responsible and answerable to anything involving myself and my decisions. which means i am capable of deciding and knowing what is good and best for me and for mankind. which means i am capable of handling myself maturely and independently. right? but sometimes or i don't know maybe most of the time..my parents would try to intervene with my decisions like i've been grounded my whole life. don't get me wrong! i appreciate them being the parents,,but you see,, i have my life and i exercise life's values. i hope they will loosen up and move on. di ba? =|

6. i love the cinema!

    *and i terribly miss it! for now, i am terribly out of budget and i need to hold back..but how  i wish dot and i can go out one of these busy days and go pursue our pending lakwacha! basically its more on movies and food trips and laugh trips.. terribly miss those times.. =(

7. i have the best family and amazing set of friends

    *i always so look forward to family gatherings and friend get-together.. on reunions, i really wish and hope to see the clan complete. i got a huge clan by the way on both parents' side and it spells happiness to see everyone around :)

8. i am not a billionaire. but i want to be one!

    *right! and to top my list: i'll go travel and explore the world and reach out to those in need. i swear.

9. i am young. no need to hurry.

     *cliche but true. i have all the time and energy to enjoy.. right now, i am in my passive friendly state of being. so help me God.

10. i still have around 6 fictions that i still have to read =\

      *true. those were by nicholas sparks and paulo coelho..i am trying to find time to read even just one of them but i think i'll fail..because i have to prioritize my major books. that's it.



 ...so i suggest,, go do your reality check. and realize that LIFE'S WHAT YOU MAKE IT :) stay happy!


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