bagong buhay??

(August 1st, 2009 at 2:32 am from friendsterblog) huhaiizz… for the first time last week in my entire 2 years of college life i was and still be asking this question to myself over and over…”nganong naa gani ko ani nga sitwasyon?” oh it is pathetic but i conclude maybe epekto ra ni sa ‘all-majors-are-lining-2-point-beyond-grades’ … added with minors nga nagpa-major2x (!) arrrggghhh! but what can i do?? of course theeerrree are LOT i CAN do! study, study, and STUDY! but not just study! i have to do beyond…i have to do it BIG TIME. fortunate for me, i don’t grab those failing marks…just almost! (i miss IS. . it’s description, the way it captivates my mind, my immagination…aaarrrgghh!!) (sorry i have to talk LESS) but what can i do?? what can i possibly do with those unfair people?? favoritisms, gossipers, teachers that don’t know how to make good teaching strategies (!!!), cheaters, and CHEATERS?! they are all around me. and i’m very much afraid that one day, maybe one day, i MIGHT be like them.. :( and i don’t want that to happen. that is totally not me. . and these are not just my only concern –, i don’t know. problems are all around. di man unta ko tigpangita ug problema..because for 17 yrs in my life, i stick to my principle that problems don’t come if you don’t look for them..and i stand the fact that people alone make these complicated things..in short, ang problema ginama ra sa taw.. but how come i am so much affected.. ? i want to cry all things out..but i could not..and i must not! i know i can manage..i can be like a stone..and i have been like a stone..but until when? pressure?. yes i am. but there is soooo much more in life than this. and it would be a shallow thing if i blab all these concerns when in fact, i am luckier that i could still see my parents together, stay in our very own house on weekends..luckier that i have my education in a christian university. . . but can you blame me if i suffered from emotional disorders and have to express it this way rather than verbally? NO. because in the first place you are not me. and you don’t know ME. don’t expect that i’d smile when i’m hurt. that can’t be. i’m a person with feelings. only that, i’m gOod in holding-back. but it doesn’t mean i can pass through it. recently, i promised not to waste any of my time. blogging is not wasting time. this is pleasure a medium where i can communicate non-verbally.. i don’t have to be conscious in the way i talk, the way i show my facial expressions and the likes.. i don’t even know if someone’s actually reading this or not, did you get it or not, if you agree with me or not, or if we have similar experiences or not.. hay!~~, ok. enough of this. next time is far. but i have to moooovveee onnnn! move on.move on.move on. bagong buhay. and nothing else. it’s TOUGH. but i have to succed..i don’t have any competitions. it’s JUST ME, MY GOOD BRAIN, and MY GOOD HEART . post note: i jUst want to go out-of-town and TRAAAAVVVEEELL!!!! ( beach,fresh air,beauty spots, new faces, new friends and all ! )